Survival of the Rag

Once a month there is a space in time that men dread and women transform into demons.  (Not all women....calm down ladies!)  At one point in time (a LONG time ago!!) women were segregated from the men and other women not on the rag during the time of their period.  They were quarantined to "The Red Tent."  We don't have to live that way anymore.  As long as we all learn to get along! 

Men: There are ways of avoiding a monthly breakup and gain points at the same time!
Ladies: There are ways to keep him around for longer than one full cycle of the moon.
Yes Gentleman....I'm talking about a woman's period.  Get over the Ewww....it's a normal part of life.  I've got a few ideas and thoughts on how to survive this terrifying period....of time.  No pun intended.
Men:  There are few vital characteristics that will help you in the long run and a few tricks to put up your sleeve.  I'm going to break this down as much as I can.

• Be patient!  This shouldn't last more than 1 week.  And there are on average 4.3 weeks in a month....so the ratio of good to bad is pretty high!
• Be understanding.  This isn't easy for her either.  Most of the time she, honestly!, can't control her emotions.  This is just part of the joys of womanhood!
• Have some compassion.  She doesn't want to be a Beotch just as much as you don't want her to be.
• Keep track of only one thing...when it's coming!  Starting from day 1 of Aunt Flo's visit count 28 days (roughly)....mark that date down.  And get ready!  Better to be prepared than sorry!
• Don't talk about it!  Even though you know why she's moody/emotional/crazy don't say anything about it!  She'll be much happier if you don't say "Honey, is it that time of the month again?"  Not a good idea guys....not smart at all!!
• She's likely going to want to rehash how her dog died last year, how someone cheated on her, how her best friend is a bitch sometimes and how her boss just doesn't understand.  Don't be surprised if she starts blubbering and speaking in tongues about how Noah built a house for Allie.
• Don't be offended.  She may make stabs at you, your friends, your mommy dearest.  She has been taking over by an evil spirit.  No need to call in the priests....the demon will be gone within a week and will remain gone for roughly 3 weeks.
• Be forgiving.  Because she may get nasty with you...be forgiving.  But don't mention this forgiveness.
• The best and most important piece is to not even mention anything that happened within the dreaded week.  It's wise to never bring it up...just learn from it.

For your sleeves:

• Ice Cream...her favorite.
• Magazines....girlie ones...Cosmo, Glamour, People and all of the gossip ones.
• Tissues...there is likely to be a day when she'll cry.  (Get the ones with lotion...she doesn't want dry skin!)
• Music...There was a brilliant move by an actor in a recent movie that's inspired this one.  Though they were FWB's, and he wanted more....he made the leading lady and his love interest a "Period Mix" of her favorite sad love songs.  Genius!!
• Give her the remote and full control of the tv.

Ladies:  Usually stocking up on period equipment is a normal process for us.  Include a few new steps in your period prep and you may be able to salvage your relationship.

• To avoid conflict with your man...plan girl dates around this time.  This will limit the exposure you have to him and the potential for a blow up.
• Think before you speak.  Do your best to think before you open your mouth and/or type what you feel.  Don't pick a fight when you are in this condition.
• Don't be graphic...he doesn't need to nor does he want to know all about Aunt Flo.

With a little prep, a kind heart and patience you can both make it through this alive! 
Share your stories with me at otherfishlandlocked@gmail.com
Single & Searching....M